Pregame/Tribe reveal confessional

This is so unfair. I thought that this was a cruise to a nice Australian island where I could get a tan and win some money while I'm doing it.

I wasn't told anything about having to share huts with Lecherous Pancake Girl or Sunny Delight. And we have to cook our own food? Man. I should have paid more attention in those Legal Contracts & Treaties Classes that Dad made me take.

Who are these idiots? "I'm me" is the most helpful information I've gotten from any of them. I've met dolls with more personality. It will be all their fault when we lose tonight. I'm not taking credit for them.

You guys could at least tell me who your friends are so I know my enemies. Gosh.